Avoiding conflict

I hate conflict...mostly the one caused by subjective ideas, decisions...there is no win-win outcome from those...only frustration.

When you are assigned to work on a task and you make decisions on an area which ha no standards to follow there is always good idea to discuss with others....to ask for objective feedback...to make sure your view is not definitely wrong...

It sometimes happens that by asking for feedback all you get is subjective opinions which are not backed by facts ...and if you try to disagree or ignore these kind of opinions ...when these do not move you further....you end up in conflict...causing tension... and called an arrogant...d**k.

Feedback about a work item should be objective...apart from personal opinions...this means being a professional. 

Subjective feedback should be listened to, but it is destined to be ignored most of the time....so don't be surprised if your feedback is rejected.

If all you have is subjective feedback, than make it clear that "if I would have to do this I would do it like this...because..." This can...for those few open minded ... start a thinking process...and eventually maybe lead to a better solution.

Don't force your subjective ideas on others...let them decide if they want to listen or not.

... eventually time will prove you right or wrong...and it is ok to be wrong from time to time.

Raise your voice or stay quiet

There are sometimes things you hear in meetings that can push you to the edge of patience...like "there is no time for this now"...or "that was not planned"..."that's way too much to work, let's do this hack now and we'll come back to it later".

If your goal is to deliver the best product you can that serves your customers, these sentences will always make you angry. The question is do you speak out? ... do you raise your voice and share your concerns?


There are the situations when someone from the team comes with an idea of refactoring a part of a product...and although technically it could bring obvious benefits to the code structure.... but it just feels wrong...
The code he plans to refactor is working well...in production ...for so many years....and besides the nicer code, there is no added value for the end-user...it is something for us, developers...a nicer (trendy) framework...or just a different view of the same problem...but it gives us work...to fill that backlog.
...will you raise your voice?...and maybe convince the team that this is not beneficial on the long term?...although you probably would like to use that new framework....


...or there are case when someone, in it's rush to accomplish a task creates a new mini framework...because it is more fun and challenging to create than reuse...will you raise your voice?


...or when a customer is quite explicit on what it needs...and the management tries to steer that towards a product that is already in the portfolio, that's not quite the thing the customer wants...and delivering what the customer requested is a matter of few hours extra work...but the management tries to spare that work....will you raise your voice?

...and there are so many situations, when decisions don't make sense for you....will you raise your voice?


Almost in any any case, when you raise your voice and face up your superiors or colleagues on any objective topic, you will create waves...and depending on the company culture, the waves can be surfed upon or the'll create a tsunami you will fall victim of...

If the later is true, your are working for the wrong company.